Surreal

It has started to really sink in that we may just be able to finally become parents.  I realized it the other day when I asked poor Ed to get all of the baby stuff out of storage so that I could see what we had and figure out what we needed.  As I was going through the bins, I realized that we have almost everything that we will need for this future child of ours.  So many of our friends and family generously gave us gifts at the baby showers that we had a year and a half ago...we even found the thank you notes filled out and addressed, ready to be mailed out....those were the hardest things to find - they were all written from "Ed, Angie, and Gavin" so I wasn't able to bring myself to either send them out or rewrite them under the circumstances that we were in. 

On a much happier note, this was the first time that looking at the baby items didn't evoke negative feelings...I was actually excited to go through the adorable items that we have!  I see them now as items that are waiting to be used by this little miracle that will one day enter our lives rather than being "Gavin's things".  I don't know if that makes sense, but my Aunt Kelly said it perfectly when she said that my heart has healed.  I think that is true...it has healed!

It is so surreal to me that we may be able to finally use these adorable baby items!  I looked at the baby carrier/car seat that we have and started to cry thinking about actually being able to put a baby into it!  It is amazing to me that this is really happening, that we are just waiting for that miraculous phone call as I like to call it - a phone call that will either let us know that we have been chosen by a birthmom or that we have a child waiting for us!  WOW - that is the most amazing thought! 

As our fundraiser draws closer and closer, I am constantly thinking about how blessed we are to be surrounded by so much love and support!  We couldn't do it without our friends and family and I am amazed by the amount of people willing to help us - it is touching, heart warming, and I am overwhelmed by an emotion that I don't even know how to put into words....  I guess it is like this:

How do you say thank you to a stranger who has generously donated their hard earned money so that we can become parents?
How do you say thank you to your family for all of the hard work, time, money, and effort that they have been putting forth to make this event happen and help you adopt a child?
How do you thank someone for praying for you, thinking of you, and encouraging you through this journey?
How do you thank your friends, family and even people that we don't know for giving up their time and donating money to attend a fundraiser to make our dreams come true?

I don't know the answer to that and I don't know that anyone could ever understand how deeply touched we both are by the support that we have received and the love that has been shown towards us.  I do know that we couldn't do it without all of these wonderful people.  Thank you for caring about us, for loving us, for your generosity, for your kindness, and for helping us accomplish something that has seemed so impossible up until now!