Adoption

Ed and I are speechless and can't even begin to express our gratitude towards all of the amazing support and generosity that we have been shown since my family started organizing a fundraiser for us!  I have been feeling so incredibly blessed by the wonderful comments, feedback, and e-mails that I have received, and am thankful for our family and friends and even people we have never met who have touched our lives.

In June, I was at my goddaughter's birthday party talking to her grandparents about the "next step".  While going through fertility treatments, the "next step" is always in mind.  I started to cry and told her that I don't know that there IS a next step.  We had been through so much and were drained emotionally and financially!  I told her that we would need $10,000 for another round of IVF, or about $20,000 for adoption and that neither of those would be possible without a miracle.  

Once my doctor told us that IVF was not an option we started praying and talking about adoption and knew that the biggest hurdle was the amount of money that we would need to adopt.  We were blessed to find an agency that is much cheaper than our previous agency, but there are still costs involved.  With the fundraiser underway and so many people expressing their willingness to help, I wanted to make sure that I explained exactly how we will use the money towards adoption costs before the fundraiser:

Upon placement (when they place that miracle child into our arms to take home:) we need to hand over a check for $7,000 for what is called a "placement fee".

The birthmother is also entitled to $3,000 for "living expenses" which include things like rent payments, car payments, and other bills that the agency pays directly.  We have to give the agency the money and they distribute it. 

6 months after the baby is placed into our home, we have to go to court to finalize the adoption.  At this time, we owe the adoption agency the remaining balance of $5,000 for the finalization fees.

These are the basic fees for adoption.  Once we spoke with our social worker to get all of the information that we would need to proceed with the adoption process, we were informed that if there are complications at birth, if the birthmom doesn't have insurance, if there are any other fees for things that aren't covered by her insurance, or there are extra court fees due to paternity testing or other complications with the process, we are responsible for those expenses as well.  The adoption agency told us to plan on saving up an additional $6,000 to cover any "unscheduled fees" and other costs because it is extremely rare (usually only with an identified adoption if at all) to have an adoption that does not require extra unscheduled fees to be paid. 

On top of that, with an adoption, I am not allowed to work for 6 weeks.  This is to help adoptive mothers bond with their infant.  While this is amazing and I am looking forward to every single second of those 6 weeks, my work does not offer a paid maternity leave for a mother who is adopting.  If I was having a baby, I would be able to take a paid maternity leave because I would be considered "disabled" and unable to work (thus being able to use my saved sick time) because I just gave birth to a baby and I would also be able to get supplemental income with my Aflac benefits.  But, because this is an adoption, I will be unable to collect from either of those options and will be taking an unpaid leave which is hard because we rely heavily on my income to pay our bills. The other challenge is saving for adoption at the same time we are saving for a maternity leave.  It is also crazy because it could literally happen at any time - there may be a lot of time to save or very little time before the baby comes which can be a bit scary.  Most people have at least 7-8 months to prepare and they usually can predict when the baby will be coming (or at least to a certain extent) but with adoption they could literally call me any day now and tell me to come pick up our baby!  WHOA!  

Thankfully, Ed works for Progressive and they have a partial reimbursement program for adoptions. They will reimburse certain fees that are paid during the process. The hardest part about the reimbursement is that you can not apply for it until the adoption is finalized which is 6 months after you bring the baby home.  We are thankful beyond belief for this amazing benefit!

All of the money that is raised for the adoption will go towards the adoption process.  We have a separate account set up specifically for adoption funds and it is even in a different bank than our regular checking account.  If there is any money that is left over after the adoption is complete, it will remain in the Key Bank account and will be used one day to expand our family further and will help with future adoption costs.  The reimbursement money from Progressive will be used to cover any lingering costs and bills from the adoption process and my unpaid maternity leave. 

I just wanted to make sure that I was upfront and honest about all of the fees and costs associated with this process so that everyone knows how we will be using the money and where it will be going.  We are so thankful that many of you reading this blog have been touched by our story and the amount of love that we have felt has been overwhelming.  I don't think I ever expected the feedback that we have received and I feel like our miracle is happening!  Thank you for caring about us and for all of the positive thoughts and prayers that you are sending our way as we prepare for this little one who will one day be entering our lives:)