Thank you again to all of you who came out to the fundraiser yesterday and to those who generously donated your time to put it all together, your funds, and beautiful baskets to make the fundraiser successful! I will never forget yesterday!!! What an amazing experience to feel so loved and to have all of our friends and family pull together for us! Thank you so very much!!!!
My mom put the donations from the fundraiser into our Key Bank account today and the grand total is: $6,637.00 - WOW!!!! I'm so amazed and we feel so very blessed by the generosity of our friends and family! Words can not explain how grateful and humbled we are by this whole experience! It was such a miracle to raise this much money in such a short amount of time and I have never been more thankful!
Again, I wanted to thank my mom, my sister Jessica, my Aunt Kim, and all of my family and friends who worked so hard to put this event together! The bake sale was a HUGE success (thank you so much to Jen, Laetitia, and Kate you are AMAZING bakers:), the baskets were so generous (thank you to Jeremy, Mr. Modic, Shannon, Courtney, Becky, Aunt Kim, Lisa, Monica, Adrienne, and all of my other family members and friends for all of the hard work you put into the baskets!!! They were all beautiful and so appreciated). The set up crew was incredible - thank you to Uncle Dave, Kenny, Uncle Kenny, and Jason! Thank you to Adrienne, Kate, Laetitia, Aunt Karen, Aunt Kim, mom, Aunt Shelley, Jess, Kathy, Linda, and anyone else that I may be forgetting for working all day to make sure that things ran smoothly and for your generosity - you are the best! Steve and Liz (and of course my handsome nephew:) - thank you so much for flying in to be a part of this special day - it means so much to us!!!
Thank you again to everyone for your help and generosity! We can't wait to post good "baby news"!!!
Monday, August 27, 2012
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Surreal
It has started to really sink in that we may just be able to finally become parents. I realized it the other day when I asked poor Ed to get all of the baby stuff out of storage so that I could see what we had and figure out what we needed. As I was going through the bins, I realized that we have almost everything that we will need for this future child of ours. So many of our friends and family generously gave us gifts at the baby showers that we had a year and a half ago...we even found the thank you notes filled out and addressed, ready to be mailed out....those were the hardest things to find - they were all written from "Ed, Angie, and Gavin" so I wasn't able to bring myself to either send them out or rewrite them under the circumstances that we were in.
On a much happier note, this was the first time that looking at the baby items didn't evoke negative feelings...I was actually excited to go through the adorable items that we have! I see them now as items that are waiting to be used by this little miracle that will one day enter our lives rather than being "Gavin's things". I don't know if that makes sense, but my Aunt Kelly said it perfectly when she said that my heart has healed. I think that is true...it has healed!
It is so surreal to me that we may be able to finally use these adorable baby items! I looked at the baby carrier/car seat that we have and started to cry thinking about actually being able to put a baby into it! It is amazing to me that this is really happening, that we are just waiting for that miraculous phone call as I like to call it - a phone call that will either let us know that we have been chosen by a birthmom or that we have a child waiting for us! WOW - that is the most amazing thought!
As our fundraiser draws closer and closer, I am constantly thinking about how blessed we are to be surrounded by so much love and support! We couldn't do it without our friends and family and I am amazed by the amount of people willing to help us - it is touching, heart warming, and I am overwhelmed by an emotion that I don't even know how to put into words.... I guess it is like this:
How do you say thank you to a stranger who has generously donated their hard earned money so that we can become parents?
How do you say thank you to your family for all of the hard work, time, money, and effort that they have been putting forth to make this event happen and help you adopt a child?
How do you thank someone for praying for you, thinking of you, and encouraging you through this journey?
How do you thank your friends, family and even people that we don't know for giving up their time and donating money to attend a fundraiser to make our dreams come true?
I don't know the answer to that and I don't know that anyone could ever understand how deeply touched we both are by the support that we have received and the love that has been shown towards us. I do know that we couldn't do it without all of these wonderful people. Thank you for caring about us, for loving us, for your generosity, for your kindness, and for helping us accomplish something that has seemed so impossible up until now!
On a much happier note, this was the first time that looking at the baby items didn't evoke negative feelings...I was actually excited to go through the adorable items that we have! I see them now as items that are waiting to be used by this little miracle that will one day enter our lives rather than being "Gavin's things". I don't know if that makes sense, but my Aunt Kelly said it perfectly when she said that my heart has healed. I think that is true...it has healed!
It is so surreal to me that we may be able to finally use these adorable baby items! I looked at the baby carrier/car seat that we have and started to cry thinking about actually being able to put a baby into it! It is amazing to me that this is really happening, that we are just waiting for that miraculous phone call as I like to call it - a phone call that will either let us know that we have been chosen by a birthmom or that we have a child waiting for us! WOW - that is the most amazing thought!
As our fundraiser draws closer and closer, I am constantly thinking about how blessed we are to be surrounded by so much love and support! We couldn't do it without our friends and family and I am amazed by the amount of people willing to help us - it is touching, heart warming, and I am overwhelmed by an emotion that I don't even know how to put into words.... I guess it is like this:
How do you say thank you to a stranger who has generously donated their hard earned money so that we can become parents?
How do you say thank you to your family for all of the hard work, time, money, and effort that they have been putting forth to make this event happen and help you adopt a child?
How do you thank someone for praying for you, thinking of you, and encouraging you through this journey?
How do you thank your friends, family and even people that we don't know for giving up their time and donating money to attend a fundraiser to make our dreams come true?
I don't know the answer to that and I don't know that anyone could ever understand how deeply touched we both are by the support that we have received and the love that has been shown towards us. I do know that we couldn't do it without all of these wonderful people. Thank you for caring about us, for loving us, for your generosity, for your kindness, and for helping us accomplish something that has seemed so impossible up until now!
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Adoption
Ed and I are speechless and can't even begin to express our gratitude towards all of the amazing support and generosity that we have been shown since my family started organizing a fundraiser for us! I have been feeling so incredibly blessed by the wonderful comments, feedback, and e-mails that I have received, and am thankful for our family and friends and even people we have never met who have touched our lives.
In June, I was at my goddaughter's birthday party talking to her grandparents about the "next step". While going through fertility treatments, the "next step" is always in mind. I started to cry and told her that I don't know that there IS a next step. We had been through so much and were drained emotionally and financially! I told her that we would need $10,000 for another round of IVF, or about $20,000 for adoption and that neither of those would be possible without a miracle.
Once my doctor told us that IVF was not an option we started praying and talking about adoption and knew that the biggest hurdle was the amount of money that we would need to adopt. We were blessed to find an agency that is much cheaper than our previous agency, but there are still costs involved. With the fundraiser underway and so many people expressing their willingness to help, I wanted to make sure that I explained exactly how we will use the money towards adoption costs before the fundraiser:
Upon placement (when they place that miracle child into our arms to take home:) we need to hand over a check for $7,000 for what is called a "placement fee".
The birthmother is also entitled to $3,000 for "living expenses" which include things like rent payments, car payments, and other bills that the agency pays directly. We have to give the agency the money and they distribute it.
6 months after the baby is placed into our home, we have to go to court to finalize the adoption. At this time, we owe the adoption agency the remaining balance of $5,000 for the finalization fees.
These are the basic fees for adoption. Once we spoke with our social worker to get all of the information that we would need to proceed with the adoption process, we were informed that if there are complications at birth, if the birthmom doesn't have insurance, if there are any other fees for things that aren't covered by her insurance, or there are extra court fees due to paternity testing or other complications with the process, we are responsible for those expenses as well. The adoption agency told us to plan on saving up an additional $6,000 to cover any "unscheduled fees" and other costs because it is extremely rare (usually only with an identified adoption if at all) to have an adoption that does not require extra unscheduled fees to be paid.
On top of that, with an adoption, I am not allowed to work for 6 weeks. This is to help adoptive mothers bond with their infant. While this is amazing and I am looking forward to every single second of those 6 weeks, my work does not offer a paid maternity leave for a mother who is adopting. If I was having a baby, I would be able to take a paid maternity leave because I would be considered "disabled" and unable to work (thus being able to use my saved sick time) because I just gave birth to a baby and I would also be able to get supplemental income with my Aflac benefits. But, because this is an adoption, I will be unable to collect from either of those options and will be taking an unpaid leave which is hard because we rely heavily on my income to pay our bills. The other challenge is saving for adoption at the same time we are saving for a maternity leave. It is also crazy because it could literally happen at any time - there may be a lot of time to save or very little time before the baby comes which can be a bit scary. Most people have at least 7-8 months to prepare and they usually can predict when the baby will be coming (or at least to a certain extent) but with adoption they could literally call me any day now and tell me to come pick up our baby! WHOA!
Thankfully, Ed works for Progressive and they have a partial reimbursement program for adoptions. They will reimburse certain fees that are paid during the process. The hardest part about the reimbursement is that you can not apply for it until the adoption is finalized which is 6 months after you bring the baby home. We are thankful beyond belief for this amazing benefit!
All of the money that is raised for the adoption will go towards the adoption process. We have a separate account set up specifically for adoption funds and it is even in a different bank than our regular checking account. If there is any money that is left over after the adoption is complete, it will remain in the Key Bank account and will be used one day to expand our family further and will help with future adoption costs. The reimbursement money from Progressive will be used to cover any lingering costs and bills from the adoption process and my unpaid maternity leave.
I just wanted to make sure that I was upfront and honest about all of the fees and costs associated with this process so that everyone knows how we will be using the money and where it will be going. We are so thankful that many of you reading this blog have been touched by our story and the amount of love that we have felt has been overwhelming. I don't think I ever expected the feedback that we have received and I feel like our miracle is happening! Thank you for caring about us and for all of the positive thoughts and prayers that you are sending our way as we prepare for this little one who will one day be entering our lives:)
In June, I was at my goddaughter's birthday party talking to her grandparents about the "next step". While going through fertility treatments, the "next step" is always in mind. I started to cry and told her that I don't know that there IS a next step. We had been through so much and were drained emotionally and financially! I told her that we would need $10,000 for another round of IVF, or about $20,000 for adoption and that neither of those would be possible without a miracle.
Once my doctor told us that IVF was not an option we started praying and talking about adoption and knew that the biggest hurdle was the amount of money that we would need to adopt. We were blessed to find an agency that is much cheaper than our previous agency, but there are still costs involved. With the fundraiser underway and so many people expressing their willingness to help, I wanted to make sure that I explained exactly how we will use the money towards adoption costs before the fundraiser:
Upon placement (when they place that miracle child into our arms to take home:) we need to hand over a check for $7,000 for what is called a "placement fee".
The birthmother is also entitled to $3,000 for "living expenses" which include things like rent payments, car payments, and other bills that the agency pays directly. We have to give the agency the money and they distribute it.
6 months after the baby is placed into our home, we have to go to court to finalize the adoption. At this time, we owe the adoption agency the remaining balance of $5,000 for the finalization fees.
These are the basic fees for adoption. Once we spoke with our social worker to get all of the information that we would need to proceed with the adoption process, we were informed that if there are complications at birth, if the birthmom doesn't have insurance, if there are any other fees for things that aren't covered by her insurance, or there are extra court fees due to paternity testing or other complications with the process, we are responsible for those expenses as well. The adoption agency told us to plan on saving up an additional $6,000 to cover any "unscheduled fees" and other costs because it is extremely rare (usually only with an identified adoption if at all) to have an adoption that does not require extra unscheduled fees to be paid.
On top of that, with an adoption, I am not allowed to work for 6 weeks. This is to help adoptive mothers bond with their infant. While this is amazing and I am looking forward to every single second of those 6 weeks, my work does not offer a paid maternity leave for a mother who is adopting. If I was having a baby, I would be able to take a paid maternity leave because I would be considered "disabled" and unable to work (thus being able to use my saved sick time) because I just gave birth to a baby and I would also be able to get supplemental income with my Aflac benefits. But, because this is an adoption, I will be unable to collect from either of those options and will be taking an unpaid leave which is hard because we rely heavily on my income to pay our bills. The other challenge is saving for adoption at the same time we are saving for a maternity leave. It is also crazy because it could literally happen at any time - there may be a lot of time to save or very little time before the baby comes which can be a bit scary. Most people have at least 7-8 months to prepare and they usually can predict when the baby will be coming (or at least to a certain extent) but with adoption they could literally call me any day now and tell me to come pick up our baby! WHOA!
Thankfully, Ed works for Progressive and they have a partial reimbursement program for adoptions. They will reimburse certain fees that are paid during the process. The hardest part about the reimbursement is that you can not apply for it until the adoption is finalized which is 6 months after you bring the baby home. We are thankful beyond belief for this amazing benefit!
All of the money that is raised for the adoption will go towards the adoption process. We have a separate account set up specifically for adoption funds and it is even in a different bank than our regular checking account. If there is any money that is left over after the adoption is complete, it will remain in the Key Bank account and will be used one day to expand our family further and will help with future adoption costs. The reimbursement money from Progressive will be used to cover any lingering costs and bills from the adoption process and my unpaid maternity leave.
I just wanted to make sure that I was upfront and honest about all of the fees and costs associated with this process so that everyone knows how we will be using the money and where it will be going. We are so thankful that many of you reading this blog have been touched by our story and the amount of love that we have felt has been overwhelming. I don't think I ever expected the feedback that we have received and I feel like our miracle is happening! Thank you for caring about us and for all of the positive thoughts and prayers that you are sending our way as we prepare for this little one who will one day be entering our lives:)
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