Thursday, September 6, 2012
Secret donatations
I want to thank all of you that have donated to help us with the costs involved with adopting a child. There are a few people that have generously donated anonomously and I wanted to say that I am SO VERY grateful! About $350 have been donated "secretly" and it brings tears to my eyes when I think about how generous everyone has been! God has certainly answered our prayers and we are feeling so blessed! So thank you very much for helping to change our lives!
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Our future child....
We are thinking and praying for our future child (and their birthmother) constantly! I dream about the day when I will finally be able to hold him/her in my arms! There isn't a day that passes that I am not thinking about the sweet child that will undoubtedly change our lives forever! Especially with November approaching (my due date was November 11th), I think about how excited I was for the holidays this year and can't wait to experience that with the child that is meant to be ours - it may not happen this year but hopefully one day, our home will be filled with the pitter-patter of little feet on holidays (and everyday)!!!
I can't wait to go apple picking, to bake Christmas cookies, to go camping, to cuddle on the couch reading a book, to take long walks in the park, to attend sporting events, to take family vacations, to go sled riding, to go swimming, to go to the beach, to have picnics in the park, and to do the many many many other things that Ed and I love to do as a family!
I can't wait to go apple picking, to bake Christmas cookies, to go camping, to cuddle on the couch reading a book, to take long walks in the park, to attend sporting events, to take family vacations, to go sled riding, to go swimming, to go to the beach, to have picnics in the park, and to do the many many many other things that Ed and I love to do as a family!
Monday, August 27, 2012
Fundraiser
Thank you again to all of you who came out to the fundraiser yesterday and to those who generously donated your time to put it all together, your funds, and beautiful baskets to make the fundraiser successful! I will never forget yesterday!!! What an amazing experience to feel so loved and to have all of our friends and family pull together for us! Thank you so very much!!!!
My mom put the donations from the fundraiser into our Key Bank account today and the grand total is: $6,637.00 - WOW!!!! I'm so amazed and we feel so very blessed by the generosity of our friends and family! Words can not explain how grateful and humbled we are by this whole experience! It was such a miracle to raise this much money in such a short amount of time and I have never been more thankful!
Again, I wanted to thank my mom, my sister Jessica, my Aunt Kim, and all of my family and friends who worked so hard to put this event together! The bake sale was a HUGE success (thank you so much to Jen, Laetitia, and Kate you are AMAZING bakers:), the baskets were so generous (thank you to Jeremy, Mr. Modic, Shannon, Courtney, Becky, Aunt Kim, Lisa, Monica, Adrienne, and all of my other family members and friends for all of the hard work you put into the baskets!!! They were all beautiful and so appreciated). The set up crew was incredible - thank you to Uncle Dave, Kenny, Uncle Kenny, and Jason! Thank you to Adrienne, Kate, Laetitia, Aunt Karen, Aunt Kim, mom, Aunt Shelley, Jess, Kathy, Linda, and anyone else that I may be forgetting for working all day to make sure that things ran smoothly and for your generosity - you are the best! Steve and Liz (and of course my handsome nephew:) - thank you so much for flying in to be a part of this special day - it means so much to us!!!
Thank you again to everyone for your help and generosity! We can't wait to post good "baby news"!!!
My mom put the donations from the fundraiser into our Key Bank account today and the grand total is: $6,637.00 - WOW!!!! I'm so amazed and we feel so very blessed by the generosity of our friends and family! Words can not explain how grateful and humbled we are by this whole experience! It was such a miracle to raise this much money in such a short amount of time and I have never been more thankful!
Again, I wanted to thank my mom, my sister Jessica, my Aunt Kim, and all of my family and friends who worked so hard to put this event together! The bake sale was a HUGE success (thank you so much to Jen, Laetitia, and Kate you are AMAZING bakers:), the baskets were so generous (thank you to Jeremy, Mr. Modic, Shannon, Courtney, Becky, Aunt Kim, Lisa, Monica, Adrienne, and all of my other family members and friends for all of the hard work you put into the baskets!!! They were all beautiful and so appreciated). The set up crew was incredible - thank you to Uncle Dave, Kenny, Uncle Kenny, and Jason! Thank you to Adrienne, Kate, Laetitia, Aunt Karen, Aunt Kim, mom, Aunt Shelley, Jess, Kathy, Linda, and anyone else that I may be forgetting for working all day to make sure that things ran smoothly and for your generosity - you are the best! Steve and Liz (and of course my handsome nephew:) - thank you so much for flying in to be a part of this special day - it means so much to us!!!
Thank you again to everyone for your help and generosity! We can't wait to post good "baby news"!!!
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Surreal
It has started to really sink in that we may just be able to finally become parents. I realized it the other day when I asked poor Ed to get all of the baby stuff out of storage so that I could see what we had and figure out what we needed. As I was going through the bins, I realized that we have almost everything that we will need for this future child of ours. So many of our friends and family generously gave us gifts at the baby showers that we had a year and a half ago...we even found the thank you notes filled out and addressed, ready to be mailed out....those were the hardest things to find - they were all written from "Ed, Angie, and Gavin" so I wasn't able to bring myself to either send them out or rewrite them under the circumstances that we were in.
On a much happier note, this was the first time that looking at the baby items didn't evoke negative feelings...I was actually excited to go through the adorable items that we have! I see them now as items that are waiting to be used by this little miracle that will one day enter our lives rather than being "Gavin's things". I don't know if that makes sense, but my Aunt Kelly said it perfectly when she said that my heart has healed. I think that is true...it has healed!
It is so surreal to me that we may be able to finally use these adorable baby items! I looked at the baby carrier/car seat that we have and started to cry thinking about actually being able to put a baby into it! It is amazing to me that this is really happening, that we are just waiting for that miraculous phone call as I like to call it - a phone call that will either let us know that we have been chosen by a birthmom or that we have a child waiting for us! WOW - that is the most amazing thought!
As our fundraiser draws closer and closer, I am constantly thinking about how blessed we are to be surrounded by so much love and support! We couldn't do it without our friends and family and I am amazed by the amount of people willing to help us - it is touching, heart warming, and I am overwhelmed by an emotion that I don't even know how to put into words.... I guess it is like this:
How do you say thank you to a stranger who has generously donated their hard earned money so that we can become parents?
How do you say thank you to your family for all of the hard work, time, money, and effort that they have been putting forth to make this event happen and help you adopt a child?
How do you thank someone for praying for you, thinking of you, and encouraging you through this journey?
How do you thank your friends, family and even people that we don't know for giving up their time and donating money to attend a fundraiser to make our dreams come true?
I don't know the answer to that and I don't know that anyone could ever understand how deeply touched we both are by the support that we have received and the love that has been shown towards us. I do know that we couldn't do it without all of these wonderful people. Thank you for caring about us, for loving us, for your generosity, for your kindness, and for helping us accomplish something that has seemed so impossible up until now!
On a much happier note, this was the first time that looking at the baby items didn't evoke negative feelings...I was actually excited to go through the adorable items that we have! I see them now as items that are waiting to be used by this little miracle that will one day enter our lives rather than being "Gavin's things". I don't know if that makes sense, but my Aunt Kelly said it perfectly when she said that my heart has healed. I think that is true...it has healed!
It is so surreal to me that we may be able to finally use these adorable baby items! I looked at the baby carrier/car seat that we have and started to cry thinking about actually being able to put a baby into it! It is amazing to me that this is really happening, that we are just waiting for that miraculous phone call as I like to call it - a phone call that will either let us know that we have been chosen by a birthmom or that we have a child waiting for us! WOW - that is the most amazing thought!
As our fundraiser draws closer and closer, I am constantly thinking about how blessed we are to be surrounded by so much love and support! We couldn't do it without our friends and family and I am amazed by the amount of people willing to help us - it is touching, heart warming, and I am overwhelmed by an emotion that I don't even know how to put into words.... I guess it is like this:
How do you say thank you to a stranger who has generously donated their hard earned money so that we can become parents?
How do you say thank you to your family for all of the hard work, time, money, and effort that they have been putting forth to make this event happen and help you adopt a child?
How do you thank someone for praying for you, thinking of you, and encouraging you through this journey?
How do you thank your friends, family and even people that we don't know for giving up their time and donating money to attend a fundraiser to make our dreams come true?
I don't know the answer to that and I don't know that anyone could ever understand how deeply touched we both are by the support that we have received and the love that has been shown towards us. I do know that we couldn't do it without all of these wonderful people. Thank you for caring about us, for loving us, for your generosity, for your kindness, and for helping us accomplish something that has seemed so impossible up until now!
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Adoption
Ed and I are speechless and can't even begin to express our gratitude towards all of the amazing support and generosity that we have been shown since my family started organizing a fundraiser for us! I have been feeling so incredibly blessed by the wonderful comments, feedback, and e-mails that I have received, and am thankful for our family and friends and even people we have never met who have touched our lives.
In June, I was at my goddaughter's birthday party talking to her grandparents about the "next step". While going through fertility treatments, the "next step" is always in mind. I started to cry and told her that I don't know that there IS a next step. We had been through so much and were drained emotionally and financially! I told her that we would need $10,000 for another round of IVF, or about $20,000 for adoption and that neither of those would be possible without a miracle.
Once my doctor told us that IVF was not an option we started praying and talking about adoption and knew that the biggest hurdle was the amount of money that we would need to adopt. We were blessed to find an agency that is much cheaper than our previous agency, but there are still costs involved. With the fundraiser underway and so many people expressing their willingness to help, I wanted to make sure that I explained exactly how we will use the money towards adoption costs before the fundraiser:
Upon placement (when they place that miracle child into our arms to take home:) we need to hand over a check for $7,000 for what is called a "placement fee".
The birthmother is also entitled to $3,000 for "living expenses" which include things like rent payments, car payments, and other bills that the agency pays directly. We have to give the agency the money and they distribute it.
6 months after the baby is placed into our home, we have to go to court to finalize the adoption. At this time, we owe the adoption agency the remaining balance of $5,000 for the finalization fees.
These are the basic fees for adoption. Once we spoke with our social worker to get all of the information that we would need to proceed with the adoption process, we were informed that if there are complications at birth, if the birthmom doesn't have insurance, if there are any other fees for things that aren't covered by her insurance, or there are extra court fees due to paternity testing or other complications with the process, we are responsible for those expenses as well. The adoption agency told us to plan on saving up an additional $6,000 to cover any "unscheduled fees" and other costs because it is extremely rare (usually only with an identified adoption if at all) to have an adoption that does not require extra unscheduled fees to be paid.
On top of that, with an adoption, I am not allowed to work for 6 weeks. This is to help adoptive mothers bond with their infant. While this is amazing and I am looking forward to every single second of those 6 weeks, my work does not offer a paid maternity leave for a mother who is adopting. If I was having a baby, I would be able to take a paid maternity leave because I would be considered "disabled" and unable to work (thus being able to use my saved sick time) because I just gave birth to a baby and I would also be able to get supplemental income with my Aflac benefits. But, because this is an adoption, I will be unable to collect from either of those options and will be taking an unpaid leave which is hard because we rely heavily on my income to pay our bills. The other challenge is saving for adoption at the same time we are saving for a maternity leave. It is also crazy because it could literally happen at any time - there may be a lot of time to save or very little time before the baby comes which can be a bit scary. Most people have at least 7-8 months to prepare and they usually can predict when the baby will be coming (or at least to a certain extent) but with adoption they could literally call me any day now and tell me to come pick up our baby! WHOA!
Thankfully, Ed works for Progressive and they have a partial reimbursement program for adoptions. They will reimburse certain fees that are paid during the process. The hardest part about the reimbursement is that you can not apply for it until the adoption is finalized which is 6 months after you bring the baby home. We are thankful beyond belief for this amazing benefit!
All of the money that is raised for the adoption will go towards the adoption process. We have a separate account set up specifically for adoption funds and it is even in a different bank than our regular checking account. If there is any money that is left over after the adoption is complete, it will remain in the Key Bank account and will be used one day to expand our family further and will help with future adoption costs. The reimbursement money from Progressive will be used to cover any lingering costs and bills from the adoption process and my unpaid maternity leave.
I just wanted to make sure that I was upfront and honest about all of the fees and costs associated with this process so that everyone knows how we will be using the money and where it will be going. We are so thankful that many of you reading this blog have been touched by our story and the amount of love that we have felt has been overwhelming. I don't think I ever expected the feedback that we have received and I feel like our miracle is happening! Thank you for caring about us and for all of the positive thoughts and prayers that you are sending our way as we prepare for this little one who will one day be entering our lives:)
In June, I was at my goddaughter's birthday party talking to her grandparents about the "next step". While going through fertility treatments, the "next step" is always in mind. I started to cry and told her that I don't know that there IS a next step. We had been through so much and were drained emotionally and financially! I told her that we would need $10,000 for another round of IVF, or about $20,000 for adoption and that neither of those would be possible without a miracle.
Once my doctor told us that IVF was not an option we started praying and talking about adoption and knew that the biggest hurdle was the amount of money that we would need to adopt. We were blessed to find an agency that is much cheaper than our previous agency, but there are still costs involved. With the fundraiser underway and so many people expressing their willingness to help, I wanted to make sure that I explained exactly how we will use the money towards adoption costs before the fundraiser:
Upon placement (when they place that miracle child into our arms to take home:) we need to hand over a check for $7,000 for what is called a "placement fee".
The birthmother is also entitled to $3,000 for "living expenses" which include things like rent payments, car payments, and other bills that the agency pays directly. We have to give the agency the money and they distribute it.
6 months after the baby is placed into our home, we have to go to court to finalize the adoption. At this time, we owe the adoption agency the remaining balance of $5,000 for the finalization fees.
These are the basic fees for adoption. Once we spoke with our social worker to get all of the information that we would need to proceed with the adoption process, we were informed that if there are complications at birth, if the birthmom doesn't have insurance, if there are any other fees for things that aren't covered by her insurance, or there are extra court fees due to paternity testing or other complications with the process, we are responsible for those expenses as well. The adoption agency told us to plan on saving up an additional $6,000 to cover any "unscheduled fees" and other costs because it is extremely rare (usually only with an identified adoption if at all) to have an adoption that does not require extra unscheduled fees to be paid.
On top of that, with an adoption, I am not allowed to work for 6 weeks. This is to help adoptive mothers bond with their infant. While this is amazing and I am looking forward to every single second of those 6 weeks, my work does not offer a paid maternity leave for a mother who is adopting. If I was having a baby, I would be able to take a paid maternity leave because I would be considered "disabled" and unable to work (thus being able to use my saved sick time) because I just gave birth to a baby and I would also be able to get supplemental income with my Aflac benefits. But, because this is an adoption, I will be unable to collect from either of those options and will be taking an unpaid leave which is hard because we rely heavily on my income to pay our bills. The other challenge is saving for adoption at the same time we are saving for a maternity leave. It is also crazy because it could literally happen at any time - there may be a lot of time to save or very little time before the baby comes which can be a bit scary. Most people have at least 7-8 months to prepare and they usually can predict when the baby will be coming (or at least to a certain extent) but with adoption they could literally call me any day now and tell me to come pick up our baby! WHOA!
Thankfully, Ed works for Progressive and they have a partial reimbursement program for adoptions. They will reimburse certain fees that are paid during the process. The hardest part about the reimbursement is that you can not apply for it until the adoption is finalized which is 6 months after you bring the baby home. We are thankful beyond belief for this amazing benefit!
All of the money that is raised for the adoption will go towards the adoption process. We have a separate account set up specifically for adoption funds and it is even in a different bank than our regular checking account. If there is any money that is left over after the adoption is complete, it will remain in the Key Bank account and will be used one day to expand our family further and will help with future adoption costs. The reimbursement money from Progressive will be used to cover any lingering costs and bills from the adoption process and my unpaid maternity leave.
I just wanted to make sure that I was upfront and honest about all of the fees and costs associated with this process so that everyone knows how we will be using the money and where it will be going. We are so thankful that many of you reading this blog have been touched by our story and the amount of love that we have felt has been overwhelming. I don't think I ever expected the feedback that we have received and I feel like our miracle is happening! Thank you for caring about us and for all of the positive thoughts and prayers that you are sending our way as we prepare for this little one who will one day be entering our lives:)
Friday, July 27, 2012
Tears
A lot of tears have been shed over infertility. Tears were shed at the first doctor's appointment when we were labeled "infertile" and were told that we would need to seek out interventions to help us become parents. Tears were shed when each of the IUIs didn't work. Many many many tears were shed when the adoption fell through. Tears were shed when the first IVF didn't work. Tears of joy streamed down my face when I found out I was pregnant only to be replaced with tears of "fear" as we learned that our pregnancy might not be viable and that the baby might not make it. Tears fell down our faces almost all day every day after we found out that our little miracle's heart had stopped beating.
But now, the tears that I have are tears of hope, joy, and gratitude for the amazing people in my life, their generosity, and the prospect that our child could be out there somewhere right now, growing and developing and waiting for us! What an amazing miracle adoption is! I have always felt that Jon and Brandi (my adopted brother and sister) were meant to be ours - that before they were even conceived, God meant them to be in our family and knew what He had to do to get them there. So, each day I think about the child who will someday be "ours" and the journey that we had to take to bring him/her home. I can't wait to tell our child about all of the twists and turns that we went through and all of the people that helped to make it happen.
My biggest fear about adoption is how our child will feel about being raised by adoptive parents rather than birth parents. I never want our child to feel unwanted or abandoned. I was talking to Jon about adoption and how he thinks the baby will feel about it and his response was:
"I think the baby will feel so special that God saved them for you. I know you and Ed are going to be good parents and that baby is going to feel like God loves them so much that He picked you to be his mom" WOW - does that make you cry or what!!!!
So, from now on we are shedding tears of joy and even as I sit here writing this, the tears that I have are no longer filled with hurt, anger, frustration, and sadness!
But now, the tears that I have are tears of hope, joy, and gratitude for the amazing people in my life, their generosity, and the prospect that our child could be out there somewhere right now, growing and developing and waiting for us! What an amazing miracle adoption is! I have always felt that Jon and Brandi (my adopted brother and sister) were meant to be ours - that before they were even conceived, God meant them to be in our family and knew what He had to do to get them there. So, each day I think about the child who will someday be "ours" and the journey that we had to take to bring him/her home. I can't wait to tell our child about all of the twists and turns that we went through and all of the people that helped to make it happen.
My biggest fear about adoption is how our child will feel about being raised by adoptive parents rather than birth parents. I never want our child to feel unwanted or abandoned. I was talking to Jon about adoption and how he thinks the baby will feel about it and his response was:
"I think the baby will feel so special that God saved them for you. I know you and Ed are going to be good parents and that baby is going to feel like God loves them so much that He picked you to be his mom" WOW - does that make you cry or what!!!!
So, from now on we are shedding tears of joy and even as I sit here writing this, the tears that I have are no longer filled with hurt, anger, frustration, and sadness!
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Adoption
We decided to switch our adoption agency from Adoption Circle to Cleveland Catholic Charities because of location and cost. Adoption Circle is in Columbus and Cleveland Catholic Charities is only 30 minutes away. Plus, they cost much less than Adoption Circle.
So, we transferred our homestudy to Cleveland Catholic Charities and finalized everything yesterday. We finished our profile to show to prospective birthparents, we had our fingerprints run again, and had letters sent out to our references. Now we wait to be chosen by a birthparent - it could take a month or two years - there is no way of knowing when it will happen.
The cost is the biggest fear for us right now. Our families have been extremely supportive throughout the past 5 years and are heartbroken for us! My Aunt Kim is a nurse and has given me the shots for the IVF attempts daily and has been my medical consultant throughout the journey. She suggested that we have a fund raiser to help with the costs of adoption. My mom, sister, and the rest of my family jumped on board - and with our family, all things are possible! My family is full of "do-ers" if something needs to get done, they find a way to do it! This usually applies to helping families at church, planning weddings, or making meals for people who need help, but they are also doing a great job of helping Ed and I become parents!
So, our fundraiser is scheduled for August 26th and we are feeling overwhelmed by the amount of people who have been so generous and helpful and want to helps us on this path to parenthood! It brings me to tears (good tears:) to think about how much love and support we have received from friends and family! Wow, we are truly surrounded by amazing people!
I have been praying for the birthmom that will be or is carrying our child. I have been praying for our child daily. I have been praying that God finds a way to bring the child that we are meant to have to us. Waiting has never been something that I'm very good at, but here we are playing the waiting game again!
So, we transferred our homestudy to Cleveland Catholic Charities and finalized everything yesterday. We finished our profile to show to prospective birthparents, we had our fingerprints run again, and had letters sent out to our references. Now we wait to be chosen by a birthparent - it could take a month or two years - there is no way of knowing when it will happen.
The cost is the biggest fear for us right now. Our families have been extremely supportive throughout the past 5 years and are heartbroken for us! My Aunt Kim is a nurse and has given me the shots for the IVF attempts daily and has been my medical consultant throughout the journey. She suggested that we have a fund raiser to help with the costs of adoption. My mom, sister, and the rest of my family jumped on board - and with our family, all things are possible! My family is full of "do-ers" if something needs to get done, they find a way to do it! This usually applies to helping families at church, planning weddings, or making meals for people who need help, but they are also doing a great job of helping Ed and I become parents!
So, our fundraiser is scheduled for August 26th and we are feeling overwhelmed by the amount of people who have been so generous and helpful and want to helps us on this path to parenthood! It brings me to tears (good tears:) to think about how much love and support we have received from friends and family! Wow, we are truly surrounded by amazing people!
I have been praying for the birthmom that will be or is carrying our child. I have been praying for our child daily. I have been praying that God finds a way to bring the child that we are meant to have to us. Waiting has never been something that I'm very good at, but here we are playing the waiting game again!
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